A Parable of the Wicked Tenants - Rewriting Mark 12:1-11

One of my favorite songs is one that I learned as a child in Vacation Bible School—maybe you know it— “I am the church, you are the church, we are the church together…”

The song captures exactly what it means to be the church. It’s you and me, working together, making sure that the church gets done everything that the church needs to do. And the church has a lot that needs to be done.

You see, being church is a lot like running a business. Like a business, there are officers and leaders who make sure that certain things get done. As a United Methodist, I know well the business of my church. At this time of year, churches are preparing for church conferences, and our district superintendents have forms, and more forms, and still more forms for local church leaders to fill out. My least favorite is the Report of Church Leadership. . Three pages consisting of slots to be filled, where we list who will be on next year’s finance committee, board of trustees, and administrative council; who will be the a director of Christian Education, the boy scout coordinator…and so on…and so on..

This is part of the business of being church. There are certain responsibilities that leadership has to make sure are carried out; leadership has to identify the right person to put in each slot.

I for one am thankful for all the many people God has sent over the years to help this church be a church. I remember when God sent Jane to our congregation. Well, actually she’d been part of our church for a long time, but she had never really been part of any smaller group, like Sunday School or United Methodist Women and we didn’t know her that well. Jane contacted our lay leadership committee to let us know that she was retiring from her job as a banker; she wouldn’t mind getting involved a little more in the church.

She even had an idea for a new ministry. Jane noticed that several payday loan businesses have popped up in this area. Maybe you’ve seen the little building in the intersection 2 blocks down? She says that if someone is having an emergency, but doesn’t have good credit, they can’t get a loan at a bank. Quite a few with no where else to turn have taken out payday loans against their next paycheck. It’s one of the few legal scams left—someone borrows a hundred bucks, pays a $10 loan fee, but when they can’t pay it back at the end of the month they end up borrowing again, and paying another fee, and the next thing you know that poor soul owes thousands at an interest rate that’s exorbitant, 200% and higher.

Jane’s idea was to combine her contacts in the local banks and our church resources to offer financial counseling services and small loans to help these people break this cycle. We weren’t quite sure about this, it didn’t sound like a business our church usually participates in, but we formed a new committee and made her chair. She has reported her findings several times to our administrative council. She is a terrific committee chair: every time we have questions about what this ministry would look like, she comes back the next month with more answers.

In fact, we noticed right away how efficient and meticulous she is—I guess that’s to be expected from a banker—so we put her to work on the church newsletter. Yes, she was excellent: I don’t think our mailing labels have ever been straighter.

We realized we were wasting a valuable asset—with all her banking experience, maybe she could be a counter, counting the offering after worship service. Jane agreed, what a gal, and every Sunday she stays and counts until she gets the same balance 3 times. Not everyone would give up Sunday dinner with the family to make sure that the job is done right.

Jane has really made a difference in the fellowship of our church. The first time Jane showed up for one of our fellowship dinners on Wednesday nights, we realized how we could improve our system. We set up a table at the front of the serving counter, and Jane checked on whether people had a reservation and collected from those who had not yet paid. She’s a good worker. No one gets past Jane without paying for dinner.

You know, Jane’s really dependable. That’s why we asked her to be on the altar guild, making sure the church is cleaned and vacuumed before the Sunday morning services. It’s very important to have someone dependable on the altar guild…and on the trustees…because frankly, everyone else had already refused to be on the board of trustees, and Jane was the only one we could think of.

Jane is a good worker, we are so blessed that God sent her. It seems like she’s at the church every time you turn around. Well, you know that the Bible doesn’t describe anyone as retiring—except exempting Levites from heavy lifting once they reach a certain age—what else would Jane have done with all her time had she not been at the church? Sometimes she seems a little tired, but I know we’ve got several good years left in Jane.

Running a church is like running a business; it takes the right people in the right positions.

I wish that everyone God sent were as easy to get along with as Jane. Take Robert, for example. Well yes, go ahead and take him. (I know, bad joke.) I’m not sure he’s worth the trouble he’s been. We asked him to teach a Sunday School class. Nothing fancy—it’s an easy crowd, and they’re content if you just read aloud the Cokesbury curriculum.

Instead, Robert goes to some three-day Disciple training retreat and comes back all fired up wanting to start a Disciple Bible study program. To hear Robert tell it, this Disciple program is the greatest thing since sliced bread. The whole thing is probably just a stage Robert is going through. I guess everyone has to go through the phase where you read the Bible a lot.

In any case, there’s no money in this year’s budget to start a new program like Disciple. Even if he financed itself, I don’t know where Robert would hold his classes. He didn’t turn in a room reservation form by December 15, and all our classrooms are booked for the year. I know he’s excited about this Disciple Bible Study thing, but I’ve seen this enthusiasm before. It’ll pass.

What’s my job? In addition to my role on the lay leadership committee selecting which person goes on which line of the form for annual report, I help lead worship. I pray the prayers of the people. It’s an important job in our church—in fact, our church motto is that we are a house of prayer for all the nations. We even put that on our bulletin, just under the pastor’s cell phone.

This is how I lead our prayers. First, I tell everyone how glad I am to be with them on this beautiful Sunday morning. Then I ask if anyone has any joys or concerns. Mostly these tend to the concerns side, although every now and then someone raises their hand and says that their mother just turned 70 or they are celebrating their 1 ½ year wedding anniversary.

Usually there are no surprises. We have a telephone prayer tree, where whenever anyone has a prayer request they call the person at the top of the tree, who calls the next two, who call the next two, and so on down the line. So when Sunday morning comes around I already know that Jerry is going to ask for safe travels for his mother and JoAnn wants us to pray for her sister’s cousin’s brother-in-law, who is going to have surgery this week.

I give everyone plenty of time to say what they want me to pray for. Of course that fool Robert sits in the choir behind me—sometimes I think he waits until I turn with my back to the choir before he puts in his requests, like he’s trying to surprise me or something.

Then I ask everyone to bow their heads, and I pray the list of joys and concerns, making sure that everyone’s prayer request is said out loud and not leaving anyone out. I even add a prayer for the unspoken requests, just to be on the safe side. You just say what you want, doesn’t matter what nation you’re from, and we’ll pray it. If you call the prayer chain, we’ll pray your prayer twice.

We take running our church seriously; that means getting the right people in the right positions. It’s not an easy job, or one we take lightly, but we have been blessed: God has sent good people to fill our positions.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s all worth it; at times it seems as though we take one step forward, two steps backward. Talk someone into being on finance committee and next thing you know they’ve stopped coming to church. Course, some are still willing to put there names on the list saying that they’re on the committee. I guess that’s something.

I really don’t know how we’re going to keep up. Next week Anna is bringing her grandbaby to church to have her baptized, and you know what that means—we’ve got to find someone to work in the nursery now. I’ve left messages with everyone in the church directory but no one has returned my calls.

Still, I don’t mind, that’s part of my job: find the right person for every slot on the form. I know God will provide; God has sent us good people over the years to help us run this church. I’m even looking forward to the baptism service—the sermon is always shorter when the pastor knows there will be a baptism. But my favorite part is afterwards, when the pastor takes the baby and walks out into the congregation and holds that baby so everyone can see it and says, “I’d like to introduce you to the newest member of our congregation.”

It Seemed Important To Laugh

Sunday morning I stepped out of the call and response prayer box. For some reason it seemed important to include something humorous in the prayer. So I added a line about frustrations with parents, and yes, there were congregational snickers during the prayer.

It meant a lot to me to laugh with others while praying. Laughter is so much of my ongoing conversation with God, part of practicing the presence, part of living a thick life. On reflection, I realize what I wanted was not to share laughter so much as to allow my private prayer to invade the public prayer. I wanted to open myself and share of myself to people I am growing to love.

Below is the prayer, shared Sunday as part of our Homecoming sermon series, scripture selection was the Prodigal Son, Luke 15:11-32 (I added references to the Paul's Mars Hill sermon recorded in Acts 17).

Lord God Almighty,
Creater of the universe
From one ancestor you made all nations to inhabit the whole earth.
You allotted the times of their existence and the places where they would live,
so that each person would search for you, seek you.

Although we are never far from you,
it is always your desire that we turn to you,
live in in
love you with such wholeness of heart, soul, strength and mind,
that our love for you spills over into love for other people.

Yet we confess that turn all too easily from you.
We go through the days,
occupied by deadlines and pick-up times,
busyness and boredom,
more likely to wonder what we should have for supper than whether this day is pleasing to you.

We turn from you, thinking "if only".
If only my children were better behaved.
If only my parents were better behaved.
If only I could get a new car.
If only I could get away for a while.
If only.

We wake up in the middle of the night worried about the economy,
worried about retirement savings,
worried about where the money will come from to pay all these expenses.

We wake up in the morning angry, angry that friends have let us down,
angry that hard work doesn’t seem to be rewarded
angry that life wasn’t supposed to be like this,
angry that there seems to be no joy.

We forget, we are never far from you.
We forget it is always your desire that we turn to you,
live in you,
love you, and love with you.

We would turn to you.
And as we turn, we are surprised. We expect your love, yet are shocked at your joy, your delight, your welcome. We thank you. It’s all we can do. We thank you.

We lift to your care those we love, and those strangers, who hurt, who suffer from pains, who are angry at injustice, and afraid.

We thank you, we thank you, and it is with deep gratitude that we pray and live the words your son Jesus taught us:

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.

Dashing Babies Heads Against the Rocks

Yesterday I was called to pray with a young woman requesting financial assistance, and I listened to her chant her litany of health problems, describe her isolation and the pain of an abusive situation. Normally when wearing my pastoral care hat, I listen and pray back someone’s words…here is what I heard, God hear us say this together. I try to pray prayers that respect their understanding of God, but in this case I could not. She thought God had afflicted her physically and through her relationships, yet was determined to praise God in the midst of this suffering. But one day, God would bless her, and others would know that through it all she was beloved of God and had been faithful.

Today’s Psalm in Celtic Daily Prayer is Psalm 137, and this was a rare occasion when I wanted to sing the Psalm forcefully. God did you hear the Edomites saying “tear it down”, telling her that You do terrible things in order to help us grow in faith? Do you see the daughter of Babylon, the devastator who claims that you bless and curse according to our faithfulness? I wanted to dash heads of those who taught this beautiful child these horrid "truths" (but how can I get to the writer of Deuteronomy)?

Dash me against the rocks, because I can only offer a prayer for her and with her, and no more. As I listen to her story I think on two tracks—the horror of her situation, the frivolity of my response. I can give only an hour, no more, this day is spoken for and already has drained more from my family and personal time than I can afford. I have my own personal care cases, and cannot afford entanglement in another life. I offer her a prayer for God to help because I cannot or will not. I tell myself I cannot pick up every cross but only mine, but there are so many crosses lying on the floor around me.

Prayer for Epiphany

Feb 20 was my first time behind the rail at First Marietta. I led the prayers of the people with the following (the "speak your word, Lord" was followed by the congregation responding "your servants listen":

Gracious God,
Your Word comes to us, calls us, challenges us.
As we pray, speak your word, Lord.
Your servants listen.

Speak words that strengthen all who respond to your call.
Fortify those who face resistance and rejection.

Speak your word, Lord. Your servants listen.


Speak words of power, words bringing peace and healing
to places of bloodshed and danger:
Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia and the Sudan.
Speak words of comfort and presence
to those who live in the midst of danger to body and soul.
Speak words of assurance
to those who feel helpless,
to those who suffer in the midst of natural disasters.

Speak your word, Lord. Your servants listen.

When questions nag, when spirits droop,
when it seems as though all is out of control,
speak words that assure of your love,
words that provide serenity in the midst of doubt,
that all may live fully and faithfully.

Speak your word, Lord. Your servants listen.

When jealousy, self-interest, or quick tempers
would render Your words into resounding gongs or clashing symbols,
speak words reminding us of Your more excellent way,
words encouraging us to hear you in other persons.

Speak your word, Lord. Your servants listen.

When your words are difficult,
when it seems easier to dilute them or postpone saying anything at all,
strengthen our hope in You;
let your unfailing love rest upon us,
that we may have courage to speak with confidence.

Speak your word, Lord. Your servants listen.

Trusting in your promises,
confident in your words,
we offer these prayers in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ
and through the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

12 Pounds of Wisdom

Since returning from the Middle East I've had difficulty communicating with our puppy Sophie.  She has been persistent in trying to get me to do something--but it's taken me all week to realize that it's not a walk or playing in the grass or food that she wants in the morning.  Instead, she wants to swing.  For the last three mornings I have followed her lead and lifted her up to the swing, where she snuggles next to me as I drink a cup of morning coffee.  The original owners, who named the dog, knew what they were doing!

End Times

Our Disciple class met for the last time--it was sad, and yet nice. By the end of the program, I'm usually ready for a break from the weekly reading and study requirements. Even with a three-week break while I was out of the country, I was still ready for the end.

Since our Pastor wasn't able to meet with us, instead of communion we had a "love feast". We met in our (Ed and my) home, and I served dishes that I had eaten while in the Middle East. I cheated--went to Harry's and bought the appetizers from the deli and a mix for the falafel. I made baklava, which took 3 times as long as the directions indicated. Well worth it though!

The beautiful part was the recognition of the spiritual gifts we have seen in one another during the course of the year. So often we don't always see these gifts in ourselves until someone else points them out.

Emerging Humor

I have been procrastingating on writing a paper for my Systemmatic
Theology class. I'm looking at the emerging church movement, in
particular the missional praxis, and describing how the movement
redefines one, holy, catholic, apostolic. (I always go for papers
with a tight focus).
Unfortunately, it's so easy to get bogged down wasting time exploring
websites for people in these "conversations". I fell in the floor
laughing when I found this website listing "you might be emerging if":
http://purgatorio1.com/?p=105

Grace for the Martyr

About a year ago I decided to go to a lecture at Central Methodist
College. I had told several members of my congregation about the
lecture, and although I was overwhelmed with work and sermon
preparation, I decided to be a martyr and attend in case anyone from
my congregation showed up. (No one did.)

When I arrived about 15 minutes before the presentation, the large
auditorium where I assumed that the lecture would take place was
empty. Central Methodist isn't a large campus, and so I went to the
nearest building with lights on and a crowd. Sara, my mentor in the
candidacy process, sat down near me, and expressed surprise that I had
come to a poetry reading. It turned out that the lecture I planned to
attend had been canceled, and Sara invited me to stay for Scott's
poetry reading. I had heard Scott read poetry once before at a
University of Missouri Christian faculty and staff meeting, and knew I
wouldn't be disappointed.

What amazed me on this occasion was how much I needed to hear poetry.
At the time I felt inundated with words, looking for the right words.
Each week's sermon, hymn selection, written prayers, call to
worship—so many words, and so much self-imposed stress on getting the
best possible words to express the morning theme in worship. There
was such a sense of relief in just listening to Scott read his poems.
I needed to hear and join in with someone else's words of prayer.

(Scott has a new book out, Compass of Affection: Poems New And
Selected. Hint, Hint to Ed.)

sound to bring comfort

GE has a beautiful commercial that they aired recently. It depicts
images of women and babies from many cultures, with a woman's voice
singing "da da dum day dum day dum" over and over, to the sort of tune
one sings without even thinking when rocking a baby—a mother using
sound to bring comfort to her child.Since the commercial is by GE, and
it praises ultrasound, which uses "sound to bring comfort" to pregnant
women.

Other comforting sounds?
Listening in the hallway to your child breathing,
dad snoring on the couch,
steady beep of a heart monitor,
"The Lord is my shepherd",
"What's for supper, mom?",
"the peace of Christ with you",
"praise God from whom all blessings flow",
"hey, dear",
the click of the heater turning on fifteen minutes before the alarm goes off,
"And God said, it is good",
a group of men and women in the geriatric ward singing "this little
light of mine",
the beep of the coffee maker signaling that the coffee is ready,
"For my yoke is easy and my burden is light",
"Come, Lord Jesus"

Stations of the Movie

In my liturgical writing class, we have been talking about liturgical
practices for the season of lent. Today someone mentioned the
"stations of the cross" as a practice of their home church. Last year
my parents' church set up a "stations of the cross" time of devotion
for the week before Easter. My mom was asking about this, and so I
explained to her that at each station is a place of rest where one
prays and remembers a station, or scene, of Jesus' passion. I
explained to her that some of these are stations that depict a time in
the gospel narrative, such as Pilate condemning Jesus. Other stations
are from tradition, such as Jesus' stumbling or Jesus meeting his
mother. Then Mark chimed in with his words of wisdom and added, "and
some of the stations are from the movie Ben Hur".

Illusion of Holiness

For the last year at Candler, whenever I have talked with other students about dreams of future ministry, I have asked, "Have you ever been part of a healthy church? What did it look like?" So far, I have heard two positive replies.

One described a church in which the leading elders made it a point of demonstrating servant leadership by taking on the most menial tasks. The most senior leaders were the ones that had the right to take out the garbage. Amazing.

Recently a student described a church in which the leadership was very honest. There were no secrets. Issues were addressed immediately and publicly.

I do think that secret keeping is symptomatic of church problems, similar to secret keeping by families. I guess twice I've been sideswiped by learning about a big secret about something that had happened a few years before joining the church. I shared these thoughts with a chaplain friend, any he responded that it's a lot more difficult for a church to heal than for a family to heal. A family can get honest and make healthy changes. A church has to give up the
illusion of holiness before she can even start being honest.

Pizza Crust to You!

I was riding home from school with a fellow Candler student, and we
were doing the usual...comparing churches. One of the most important
parts of worship at the church where I am now is the "passing of the
peace". Since every Sunday is a mini "family reunion" it's important
to shake hands and welcome one another. My friend described the first
time she went to a service which included the "passing of the peace".
Afterwards she asked her companion "what's all that pizza crust stuff
they were saying"--her interpretation of "the peace of Christ".

It reminded me of two of our visits to churches when we moved here.
At one church, during the passing of the peace, instead of saying "The
peace of the Lord with you" an older woman said to my son, "you need a
haircut". Yes, everyone in our family except Mark already believes
that he needs a haircut, but there are other more serious forms of
rebellion that the family is dealing with, and forcing him to get a
haircut is low on the priority list. It was such a thoughtless thing
for her to say.

Just after we moved to Georgia I took Mark with me to visit the church
that I grew up in. The church was having a homecoming, and two of the
previous members who had been called into the ministry were each
providing a 5-minute (ha!) homily. I was looking forward to
attending, because my old friend from that church had gone into the
ministry, and would be preaching.

Kenny (name changed), who was a few years younger than me, had been
called into the ministry and was a youth pastor. Although I didn't
know Kenny well when growing up, since he was a few years younger, I
looked forward to seeing him again. I introduced myself to him, and
it was great to hear his story. I introduced my son Mark,
14-years-old, and Kenny immediately asked him, "Is Jesus Christ your
Lord and Savior? Do you love Jesus with all your heart?" I was so
furious—it seemed to convey an attitude of caring more about the
number of souls saved than actually caring who Mark is as a person.
Later I decided that Kenny was probably just nervous.

At the time, I felt sorry for Mark. He grew up in Missouri, and
that's not a question I ever heard anyone in Missouri ask. I wondered
whether Mark was prepared for this move to the buckle of the Bible
belt.

I took the Theological Worldview Quiz, and decided that it was a good thing that I am at a United Methodist Seminary.

You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan. You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists.

Neo orthodox 71% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 71% Roman Catholic 68% Emergent/Postmodern 61% Charismatic/Pentecostal 61% Classical Liberal 57% Reformed Evangelical 50% Fundamentalist 36% Modern Liberal 32% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

A Wee Little Sermon about a Wee Little Man (Zacchaeus)

I know Zacchaeus. He's hopping around, trying to see over the heads
of the crowd, frustrated. He's heard about Jesus, rumors about a
prophet who eats with sinners and even invited a tax collector to
follow him. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, this chance to see
Jesus, and Zacchaeus can't see through the crowd.

I know Zacchaeus, because I am Zacchaeus. Finally at seminary, a once
in a lifetime opportunity, a chance to see Jesus…and instead I am
hopping around, trying to see over the heads in the crowd, unable to
see Jesus. Sometimes it's Old Testament. When the words "For unto us
a child is born, unto us a son is given", … are transformed from an
astonishing prophesy into Isaiah encouraging King Ahaz to stand firm,
hold out for help from the Assyrians.

It happens in ethics, two weeks studying process theology; everything
is part of God. In this model, God isn't powerful; God doesn't
intervene, but instead whispers possibilities. I look and look, and I
cannot see Jesus in the model.

It happens sometimes at my con ed placement, at the hospital. I know
I'm supposed to see Jesus when visiting the sick in the hospital. But
they don't look like Jesus. A patient shares that she is an
alcoholic, and bipolar, and cuts herself on her arms because she feels
empty inside and just wants to feel something, then I ask, "where are
you Jesus, I don't see you."

I look for Jesus with the older people in the geriatric ward. A few
seniors sit in the lounge. I turn off the tv and start singing old
hymns, What A Friend we have in Jesus, and patients shuffle out of
their rooms and join in the singing, not sure what is going on but
there's something familiar about Amazing Grace; maybe they also hope
to see Jesus.

This time I showed them pictures cut from old magazines.

They look at a picture of a boy with a baseball cap, and talked about
the games they played sixty and seventy years ago—they didn't play
baseball, they played stickball in the street. They kicked the can,
and they pretended to be cowboys and chased the Indians.

They look at a picture of a toddler in straw hat too big for his head.
Anna said, "He's working in the garden, that's why he has a straw
hat". Willie added, "That's his granddaddy's hat. He's wearing his
granddaddy's hat." They agree. That has to be granddaddy's hat.

Another picture--a girl on hilltop. The sun is shining, and she
stands with arms outstretched. They remembered summer days when they
held out arms and spun around and around until they were too dizzy to
walk. They remembered rolling down the hill, over and over, and then
afterwards being itchy from the grass.

We talked about how when a child smiles, you know that the child is
happy, and that makes everyone else happy. When a child is sad, you
can tell, and it makes you sad too. You can see straight through to
the inside of a child.

I asked them, where is God in this picture? Someone said, "God loves
the children." B.J. said, "That's what God sees when he looks at us.
God sees what we are really like, he sees us the way we are inside."
That's right, says Willie. He sees us on the inside. He loves us
just how we are, just like the children." I tell them about
Zacchaeus, climbing a tree, wanting to see Jesus.

I tell them about Zacchaeus, who leans out from a branch of a sycamore
tree trying to get a better view of Jesus. He's been working hard to
see Jesus, out of breath from racing to get ahead of the crowd,
scratched from climbing branches, eyes burning from late nights
studying, writing colloquy papers and just trying to see past the
crowd and understand what exactly is going on here…and Jesus, on his
way to Jerusalem, sees Zacchaeus the way he really is, a sinner in
need of a physician, a blind man longing to see, and most of all, a
son—no, a beloved son of Abraham, and Jesus calls out to him and says,
Come down. I've been looking for you.

My Bible

I have spent the last three hours reading Miller-Hayes' History and Hayes' Interpretation of O.T.  I feel as though I have been hit, over and over, until beaten down.  Although, it's not really sharp pain as much as sadness...or grief.  I feel like I am losing my Bible.

I keep thinking about a lecture from History of Christian Thought a few weeks ago, when I heard about the Coptic monks who were persecuted in the 4th Century.  They were anthropomorphites, which means that they took the Bible so literally, that when the Bible says something about God's hand, or God's shield, they believed that God literally has hands and a shield.  They were persecuted as heretics, because obviously God doesn't have hands, or carry a shield.  

One anthropomorphite monk, having submitted to the ruling of a local council, confessed his errors, and said, "but they have taken away my God".

I think that the best thing I can do now is just go to the text and pray it, and delight in it, and maybe even sing some of it.

Week 3

The big news for this week was Mark--he fell in a soccer game
Saturday. His wrist hurt, but brave boy that he is, he didn't
complain. We took him to the doctor Monday morning since everything
on the Internet said that if it still hurt a day later to go to
doctor, and he had broken a bone in the wrist. He has his first cast,
and has lots of signatures on it. He has to drink 5 glasses of milk,
or take a calcium table for each omitted glass, and so he swigs the
milk to avoid the horse pills.

Matt called Sunday (we try to talk every Sunday) and said that he had
helped kidnap new fraternity brothers and take them to Iowa for
football game. He was driving home. As we talked the cell signal
degraded, and he said he would call back soon. He didn't, and didn't
answer my calls since he went straight to work when returned to
Columbia, and turned off cell phone at work. I was so worried about
him, of course imagining him on the side of the road in rural
Missouri. He did call late, and I was so relieved. I really hate
being away from him and not knowing how he is doing.

One of the best parts of seminary is the worship opportunities. Three
days a week at midday, we have a service, usually with word &
Eucharist on Tues, word on Thurs, Eucharist only on Fri.

This week one of the third year students preached and did a wonderful
job. He spoke about "hitting the wall" the third week every semester.
I haven't "hit the wall" yet, I seem to be finding a rhythm of class,
study, weekly O.T. quizzes, writing weekly colloquy paper, rest, etc.
I estimate that I should be reading 180 pages a day for Tues-Fri
classes, and I get most done before class, but seem to slip and get
the Thurs morning readings done after class instead of before. I'm
more worried about next week when other classes start adding papers
and midterms. That's when I expect to hit the wall.

Our student preacher used a cute phrase--he called himself a card
carrying member of the "FPA"...which stands for "Future Pharisees of
America". He had some really clever lines about getting the card
laminated, whipping it out when needed...and it was a clever phrase to
use to make his point. Over lunch afterwards, a few of us decided
that the current definition of pharisee is anyone who doesn't agree
with what I believe. :-)

Part of the reason I feel better about the rhythm is that I'm finally
doing well on the O.T. quizzes. I started doing online trivia games
to help me remember details. I like the one at:
http://trivia.crossdaily.com/ which allows me to select a book of the
Bible to quiz from. I am a bit resentful about being quizzed about
details, like in which chapters of the Pentateuch do you find the
worship calendars, but it has changed the way I am reading the text to
be more careful about details.

Also, the Jewish study Bible doesn't have the mid-chapter subject
headings that I am used to, and I realize now how much I
subconsciously depended on these to tell me what I am reading, or to
go back and find a verse that I know is somewhere around chapter 13.

Week Two

I bought a digital recorder to record all of my class lectures, and
found that I can listen to lectures at 1.5 times normal speed, with
occasional stops to gloss my class notes. It makes me aware of how
much wasted time there is in a lecture. :-) Plus, it's fun to listen
to my professors talk fast in a high pitch.

Cathy suggested a daily 30 minute power nap, and this works well. I
set my timer 40 minutes when I get home, and if I don't get to sleep,
get up anyway. Friday I was tired, but other days went well. I know
it seems ridiculous to worry so much about sleep, but I think a lot
about this. It makes me feel old when I'm tired and look around at a
bunch of twenty-somethings in the classroom.

Met with my contextual education class. I will assist chaplain 4
hours per week at Gwinnett Medical Center. I would like to work
Monday mornings, since no classes then, but if I work mornings I will
likely be assigned to emergency room, since resident patients will be
bathing/eating breakfast, etc. I do not feel prepared for this at
all. But then I wasn't prepared at all for pastoral care last year,
and somehow got through this...grace happens.

My Old Testament class uses the Jewish study Bible, and the notes are
wonderful. It has more notes than Biblical text on some pages, so
more like a commentary than Bible.

I have procrastinated on deciding my attitude towards scriptures. On
the one hand, I believe that scripture is divinely inspired. On the
other hand, as my Old Testament prof continually points out, it is
difficult to accept the text literally. (And I cannot do like Origen
and say that the literal meaning is the least useful.) In O.T., we
don't ask "did it really happen like this?" but instead we ask "why
did the people tell the story in this way?" So far I have been able
to hold a paradox in my mind with no problem.

For my finance friends: does this conflict in beliefs mean that my
belief system is lexicographic?

In pastoral care we have focused on the paradigm shift during the 1990s in how to give pastoral care. Essentially there has been a paradigm shift, where the clinical model of one-to-one care based on a "standard" person has been criticized for many reasons. Many of these are related to shift towards a postmodern philosophy.

In finance, over this same time period we saw a shift from assumptions like investor rationality and homogeneous expectations to greater
acceptance of papers examining behavioral issues. I doubt many in finance would attribute this shift to post modernity in culture, but I have to wonder if some of the postmodern philosophy didn't leak over into this last bastion of rationality.

In pastoral care we write reflection papers...in one paragraph write a summary of a paper, then our reflections on the paper. I have no idea what this means, so I just followed directions and reflected on the paper. (When all else fails, read the directions.) There is a two page limit, and since papers are submitted electronically, I can't fudge in the usual ways-- making margins 0.9 inches, reducing the font to 11.9 instead of 12, instead of double spacing use a space of 1.9 between lines. This is the real curse of the electronic age. Below is my reflection on a paper by Ramsay, chock full of jargon (jargon is the only remaining means of meeting space limitations).

Toward a Trinitarian Image of Humanity
(Reflection on an article by Nancy J. Ramsay)

In her essay describing recent developments in contemporary pastoral theology, Ramsay describes how transitions in pastoral theology have coincided with the recent paradigm shift from modernity to postmodernity.[1] She identifies two theological themes with these changes, an increasing theological emphasis on creation in God’s image and love.[2] Ramsay also notes that theological reflection on the Trinity has led to a “more adequate theology of love that values mutuality and reciprocity”.[3] This essay argues that theological emphasis on creation in the image of God, and in particular, an image of God as Trinity, may address postmodern concerns.

Creation in a Trinitarian image of God could be modeled in at least two ways. In the simplest case, each human reflects a Trinitarian God. This suggests that people are complex and not easily pigeonholed, and is consistent with recent recognition of the “multiple social identities that persons inhabit”.[4] The complexity of the individual is congruent with postmodern concerns about pastoral care models based universal human experience.

Another concern of postmodernity, the role of authority, also could be addressed by a Trinitarian image of individual humans. Based on a Trinitarian self-image, oppressed groups that historically have been told to submit and sacrifice as Jesus did, can also view selves as not just imitators of Jesus, but draw on a Trinitarian self-image that includes God the creator and a powerful Holy Spirit.[5]

A second interpretation of humanity created in a Trinitarian image suggests that communities, rather than individuals, reflect the image of God. Genesis 1:27-28 describes a multi-person creator who creates humanity, males and females, in its own multi-person image. Only together, in community, can truth be found. This view would be appreciated within postmodernity, which questions the objectivity of individuals and values multiple perspectives.

A model of Trinitarian community suggests that individuals were created to be part of community. Emphasis on God in three persons, each promoting and supporting the others, could increase the willingness of a community’s members to relate to one another with mutual encouragement.[6] An increased emphasis on mutuality within community could address postmodern concerns about asymmetrical power and authority within relationships.

Although greater emphasis on Trinitarian theological anthropology may address some of the concerns associated with postmodernity, it is not without problems. One weakness of emphasizing the Trinity is that few, if any, understand the mystery of the trinity. Emphasis on the mystery of God may lead to resignation by some in their attempt at better self-understanding. If I cannot understand God, how can I hope to understand myself?

Second, a community’s goal of reflecting a Trinitarian God may be limited by its understanding of the persons of God. For example, the role of God as the creator may be associated with facilitating physical and emotional healing; that of Jesus the reconciler may be associated with assisting in reconciliation. However, it is not clear to this writer as to how the role of the Holy Spirit would be embodied within the community.[7] Despite these limitations, increased emphasis on the Trinitarian nature of God and creation in the image of God may address concerns of postmodernity and encourage Christian communities to meet the needs of persons for belonging.


[1] Nancy J. Ramsay, “Contemporary Pastoral Theology: A Wider Vision for the Practice of Love,” in Dictionary of Pastoral Care and Counseling, Expanded Edition, ed. Nancy J. Ramsay (Nashville, Abingdon Press, 2005), 1429.
[2] Ibid., 1434.
[3] Ibid., 1434.
[4] Ibid., 1435.
[5] This use of Trinity likely differs from that in the works by Gill-Austern and Johnson cited in Ramsay, Ibid., 1434.
[6] The Bible provides several examples of mutual support of Trinitarian persons for each other. For example, Mark 1:11 describes the baptism of Jesus, at which time a voice from heaven, said ‘You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.’.
[7] This weakness more likely reflects the weakness of the author rather than the weakness of a Trinitarian image of humanity.

Week One - So Tired

I keep telling myself that I am not behind, that I am caught up with
the things that matter...but then I notice it has been a month since
school started and not one blog item. Here's what I can recall of the
first week.

If I leave for school at 6:00 I can make it with time to spare for the
7:30 daily office, with plenty of time to get to the 8:00 class. I've
learned since then that even leaving at 6:05 may mean missing the
prayer service.

I'm not used to getting up so early, and was too excited to get much
sleep the first night. It is hard to get up and get out by 6. I
don't understand why this is so much harder than leaving the house by
7. Every day I seemed more and more tired.

Friday morning, as I was walking to my first class, a classmate
commented that he felt great! He had a great night's sleep, he had
gone to bed early, at 10pm. For this old lady, 10 pm is late!

At first I thought my least stressful class would be Old Testament.
The professor doesn't give tests/papers, just a quiz every class, and
students can drop 3 of the 26 scores. I studied, and prepared one
paragraph essay answers to the questions I anticipated. Instead, it
was fill-in-the-blank detail questions. I answered 3 of 5 questions,
and found out that two of those answers were incorrect when he went
through the quiz after we turned them in. 1 out of 5 points won't
work on any scale! I came home and immediately got out my scholarship
materials--and verified that I have to keep a 3.5 or lose the
scholarship. I was hoping that it was a 3.0 or 3.2. Oh well.

Spoke with Matt, who is freshman at Mizzou, and he gleefully told me
that he made an A on his first quiz. :-)

My Old Testament professor loves to point out the inconsistencies in
the texts. Some of what he sees as inconsistencies I have no problem
with. For example, in the creation account, he says "a day is a day"
and each day of creation would be 24 hours--he insists in interpreting
the text literally so that he can better point out inconsistencies.
But for me, I don't have a problem with this. I imagine Moses, or
some other prophet, seeing a vision of creation, and trying to express
and describe this as best possible--which means poetry.

History of Christian Thought is an amazing class. It's team taught.
One professor teaches for 50 minutes, the other addresses oversights
and also highlights themes in the previous lecture for 10 minutes,
then they both answer questions for 10 minutes. It's amazing to see
the interaction between a lover of church history and a lover of
liturgy. They bring out the best in each other. I'm so glad that I
listened to lectures on tape of philosophy (while painting Mark's room
this summer). It has helped a lot, since as a math/finance major I
never discussed Plato. Funny to have a PhD without ever taking a
philosophy class!

What do you do when you don't have internet?

For the last 3 weeks my only access to the internet has been to drive to the library. It's been a good excuse to take a Sabbath and rest from being online.

For the first two weeks in our home we had access to one static-filled television channel. If the antenna moved by a hair, the picture changed to a snowy black and white. Poor Mark seemed to be going through withdrawal, and begged to go visit cousins (and their computer).

Part of the reason for the delay in connection was my resolution to never order internet cable / DSL, etc. No matter what I do, it's never enough research, there's always a better deal out there, so I have learned to let "Dear" do the research.

Dear arrived a week after us, and it took him a week to decide on DSL for internet access and satellite for t.v., and another week for service appointments. Every day Markwas asking when we would have internet and cable. The best part was when Ed preparared for the satellite service by connecting the t.v. to the cable outlets. Turns out that we had cable for 3 weeks and never realized it. Oh well, it was good for the family to have an electronic Sabbath.

So what do you do with no internet access? Organize the laundry room of course!